Fallen off the wagon

Lately, I've been going the route of full disclosure in my life. I'm opting to do that here by saying that, in the last week, I'm completely fallen off the wagon (I *think* that is the right phrase? please let me know in the comments if I am wrong, so I don't continue to say that).

Last night I ate a full pint of Ben & Jerry's ice cream.

Today, I went to go for a run to the grocery store, and walked only after a few blocks.

I know, I have a legitimate reason for having a hard time with running. I have been having bad pain in my knee and am waiting for the "Health Coach" at work to get back to me with orthopedic recommendations. However, I don't need to have gone off the deep end with eating poorly. But that is exactly what I have done.

Since the beginning of February I have been working to build my endurance with running by doing a downloaded program that was recommended to me called "Couch to 5K". It has been AWESOME. For the first time in life, I have been enjoying working out and enjoying challenging myself. Yes, I always did sports but I was always mediocre at them. Probably because I didn't have that drive to push myself to the limits physically. I swam in high school because I loved the water (still do!) and loved the physical exercise and loved the feeling of having a good work out in the pool. But, I still didn't push myself past the points that I felt comfortable at. I have had to do that with my recent attempts to "become a runner" as I like to say.

In the process of working on becoming a better runner, I have developed, what I think, is a really healthy attitude around food. I found myself eating healthier, not because I thought it would make me lose weight, but because I wanted to fuel my body the best way possible for my workouts. I wasn't stressing over everything I put in my mouth because I knew that I was working my body hard. I didn't really lose any weight (maybe 5 lbs or so) but I started to not really be concerned with that. I FELT good.

But now I am not running. And although it has been just over a week, this past week has been pretty hard on me. I just don't feel as good about myself and don't have as much motivation to eat healthy. I'm not sure what to do to get me out of this fitness funk. I need to dig deep and find something to pull myself back onto the wagon.

And I'll just keep my fingers crossed that I can get to the doctor soon and learn what is going on with my knee.

Sorry for the rant! I want to get back to writing here and will be hopefully back soon. This entry was a bit like therapy for me... so thanks for listening.