Thursday, November 3, 2016

Why am I running this marathon?

Hello everyone! Checking in again as we are 4 days out from my 4th marathon. The pre-race anxiety and nerves have kicked in and they are coming at me in new and different ways that races previously. It seems that no matter how many of these things you do, there are different challenges to overcome and mental walls to break down. I'm scared and nervous and excited and unsure of what to expect out of myself on race day.

I never thought of this marathon as a race to RACE. I didn't train that way. I didn't eat that way. And my prep this week hasn't been that way either. I feel like people in my life barely even know I am doing a marathon. Whereas usually, I am excited and telling everyone about it!

It's a weird feeling. It's not that I am not excited - I am. Over the past week I watched the documentary "Run For Your Life" and I have been reading blog entries and race recaps and even a full on book about the New York City Marathon called "Race Like No Other." Every single thing I read and hear that that really is the case - this race is a race like no other.

Apparently at about mile 15 you hit the Queensboro Bridge and everything gets quiet besides the stomp of people's shoes on the pavement. There are no cheerers on the bridge. And then you turn the corner at 59th Street onto First Avenue it is like running into a wall of sound with people 15 deep on each side cheering their faces off.

I've heard it is the single most exhilarating moment a runner can have.

I cannot wait to experience that for myself and I get goosebumps just thinking about it.

But the nerves have still been different. Some of the nerves are of self doubt - not of my capabilities for THIS race, because I feel like I know what I am doing a bit. This isn't my first marathon, you know? But then again, do I really know what I am doing? I am also not setting a really strict goal for myself of a time. I have a time I would like to reach, but that's not what this race is really about for me. But should it be? Should I have a time goal?  Why am I even running this race? My mind has been ALL over lately. Maybe this is what they call the taper crazies? YES. I am pretty sure this is the taper crazies. [Duh. I just had the same face palm feeling as I do once a month when I get moody and eat everything in sight and don't know why, until I do know why.]

But anyways, why am I running this marathon? If not to PR and push myself to be faster than I have before?

Well, I want to run New York City Marathon for the love of running. To be a part of this community of people who have run this same path. To run the steps and the path that thousands and thousands of others have and be a part of something bigger than me. I want to run this marathon because New York City is one of the most amazing cities in the world. The city that never sleeps. Full of every type of person and communities you could imagine and one of the most diverse places out there - that all comes together for one day a year for this race. I want to run the New York City Marathon because it is a city I love. That I feel at home in. That excites me and energizes me.

I want to run New York City Marathon as a victory lap on the year that I have had. A year where I conquered new sports and took on new challenges. I trained longer than I have any other year. I incorporated speed work into a regular program. I traveled and competed in the WORLD CHAMPIONSHIPS of a sport I just started in a country all the way around the world! I have partnered with amazing brands. I have made new friends in the sport. I have done some very big and very cool things that most people would never dream of in their live. Heck I did things I never dreamed of in my life until recently and some things that still feel like a dream!

I want to run New York City Marathon for me. And that's just what I am going to do.

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