Monday, September 28, 2015

I'm tired.

So we’re less than two weeks out from marathon and how am I feeling? I’m back in Atlanta but I'm tired. I’m tired of living out of a suitcase. I’m tired of sleeping in beds with pillows that don’t feel like my own. I am tired of doing runs on whatever territory is available to me – whether its hills or treadmill or what.

Don’t get me wrong, I’ve had some amazing runs this training cycle and the past two weeks in particular. Doing my 20 mile run on the Hudson Mohawk was pretty ideal. And I LOVE running in Boston along the Charles River. And over the past two weeks, and beyond that the past month, I have been able to spend time with SO many people in my life that are vastly important to me and whom I love dearly. I know when I am older and my niece and nephew are grown, I am going to be so thankful to have been able to spend an entire weekend with them at such a fun and lovable age as 11 months.

I know that being able to see my little brothers play in their U7 soccer game is going to be something I’ll always have. And being a part of every moment of my friend’s wedding weekend? Unmissable.

Life comes down to a set of priorities and what you make a priority is what your life is. Is it work? Is it family? Is it travel and experiences? It is all up to you.

And to be honest, I can’t say that my set of priorities for my life is clearly defined and set out into the future. I become fearful at times that I should think longer term and invest more in longer term goals rather than the short term. However, fact of the matter is, we aren’t always promised tomorrow. And not that I live every day with that in the back of my mind, but when life progresses, am I going to wish I had gotten more sleep leading up to my third marathon or am I going to cherish the moments I had dancing and singing with friends, holding my baby niece and nephew, exploring new cities with breathtaking historic beauty, or watching the early stages of fall appear before my eyes as I drive up and down the Mass Pike multiple times (okay maybe I could do without that last one.)

I’ve had an exhausting couple of weeks, an exhausting month. I started to put it into numbers and the hours on a plane (more than 50), miles I’ve run (more than 150), pounds I’ve gained (we’ll find out on Tuesday when I do an official weigh in), and it's tired me out even in just the process of trying to calculate it.

But I choose not to focus on the hours of sleep I’ve lost, the seconds I’ve lost off of my ideal marathon pace, the extra pain I’m now feeling in my hip/butt due to the added stress and less rest, but am choosing to remember all the happy moments. Perhaps that will change when I run Chicago Marathon and spend the majority of it in pain from my nagging aches and injuries (I’ve started to mentally prepare myself for how to handle that if that should happen.) Perhaps that will change when I try to button in to some of my work clothes this week. Or when I return to the gym and try to cross train or lift weights.

However, in the past month I have experienced new cultures and seen some of the most beautiful architecture of my life.  I traveled to new places and opened my mind to new things and ways of life.  More than that even, when I returned from my 12 mile run on Sunday, the last double digit run before October 11th, I was greeted by my niece and nephew each crawling over to me, pulling themselves up on my leg, and reaching out to be picked up. When I spent time with my childhood best friends, E confessed to me that I have been an inspiration to her to get up in the mornings and work out some days. When I was in Schenectady for work, I spent time with a coworker who just ran her first half marathon at my encouragement and motivation. And my dad’s wife just ran her first 5K after coming out and joining the Movers and Pacers run in July when visiting in Atlanta.

These are the little things that matter. These are the little things that I will remember. Not my finish times.

At least this is what I tell myself now.

I have two weeks until Chicago Marathon. I intend to give it my very best. I intend to run through pain. To put the nutrition plan I’ve been developing to work. To be the best I can be on that given day and not give up until I cross the finish line.

I’m tired. And I’ve got two weeks to rest and get myself race ready. The focus will be on getting enough sleep, on stretching and foam rolling, to eating healthy and nutritiously, to mental preparation, to hydration, and to seeing how little I can do and not how much. Here we go, Chicago – see you soon!


  1. Last week I decided to spectate Chicago with an eye to running it next year. I know one other person running it this year, but I really hope I can spot you running. Good luck, and know that there will be at least one weirdo looking for you to cheer you on!

    1. That is awesome!!! You should track me and let me know where you'll be on the course and I will look out for you! AMAZING!!