Thursday, June 26, 2014

Provincetown Wedding Recap: Part 2

Sunday morning was the first morning in a long time that I was able to wake up without an alarm and without somewhere to be early in the morning.  Because I was out drinking of those reasons, I took advantage of that fact and had a lazy morning in bed.  Finally rising around 9:30 a.m. and grabbing breakfast at the hotel, before laying out on the beach by the water.  Tough life, right?

I then wanted to get some movement in for the day, so I took my bike, which I'd brought with me from Albany for about a 10 mile bike ride along the same hilly bike path on the dunes as the day before.  Although I had just gone up and down the same path, it felt different on bike rather than running and I thoroughly enjoyed the beauty of the ride, the breeze from pedaling, and the little breaks you get biking when you go down hills :)

When I got back I got a sandwich with my mom for lunch again, and then we proceeded to get dressed and ready for the wedding!  It was really fun to get dressed together with my mom, brother, sister, and brother-in-law... it was like prom prep family style.  The last family wedding we had was my sister and her husband's, which was about 5 years ago so we were all very excited to be dressed up snazzy and dolled up together.

At 3:00 p.m. we went down to where the wedding was taking place, which happened to be right at the Red Inn where we were staying.  It was cool to see the same area where we had been hanging out a lot the past day be turned into a beautiful wedding venue overlooking the ocean.

The ceremony was supposed to start at 3:30 so the next half hour was spent sipping champagne, taking lots of pictures, and admiring how beautiful my family members all clean up!

The dress I wore was one that I actually had made for me when I was in China!  Since I haven't gotten around to writing about that trip yet, I haven't shared this I guess, but I had some clothes custom made for me!  I picked out the pattern, fabric, design, belt, etc. of this dress and they made it just for me in 3 days.  I loved wearing it to my uncles wedding and loved the compliments that I got from so many people!  One of my uncles' friends and I sort of matched, which I totally loved, and if we were a couple, we may have won best dressed :)

At 3:30 the ceremony started and Steve and Colin looked so handsome in their suits.  Seriously amazing.

And it wasn't long after the ceremony started that we were all in tears.  They were married by a "celebrant" who had done interviews with each of them separately and then wrote out their "love story."

She talked through their story, which included the story of how they first met (it's a good one!), how they first knew they were falling for each other, what they love about one another, and what they want for their future.  It was full of serious moments, heartfelt moments, and funny moments, like when she talked about all the family memories at Waukewan that Colin has now been a part of over the years.  So much of what she said rang true because Colin has been such an important part of our family for so many years now.  At this point, I cannot imagine things without him.  Our family would not be the same without him.  If any two people are truly meant to be together, it is Steve and Colin.

They have been wearing rings for many years now so the exchange of rings wasn't a new thing for them.  However, they something called a "ring warming" which I found really beautiful.  While the celebrant told their love story, their rings were passed around to all of the guests in attendance to "warm" or say a prayer, blessing, or best wish to them.

I am sure that it wasn't just me sending them all the love and happiness in the world, as they both deserve, through the palm of my hand and into those rings as they were passed around.

When it came time to exchange vows, both Steve and Colin joined the rest of us getting choked up.  Well, Steve, being a sap like myself, was emotional throughout the whole ceremony.  And he said afterwards that when he finally felt like he was pulling himself together he'd look out to the crowd and see me and start all over again (woops!)  However, Colin, who is usually rock solid, showed some emotion during the vows as well.

I think one of the reasons that it was so emotional for everyone is because of the fact that it was a ceremony between two men.  It is a travesty that gay men and women are persecuted and seen as unequal around the world and in our very own country.  The fact that it is ILLEGAL for two people like my uncles to marry in many states in the U.S. makes me really lose faith in the world a bit.  As a single woman, I can honestly say that I only WISH that someday I find love like theirs.

In attendance at the wedding was every member of their families.  All four parents, all seven combined siblings and even more siblings-in-law, and many, many nieces and nephews.  Including little kids ages 3-8, who will grow up knowing nothing but the fact that they have two uncles who would do anything for them and who are happily married and in love.  Including 6 nephews between the ages of 19 and 27 who all play sports and live in worlds where homosexuality is often the butt of jokes and the punch in a verbal insult.  It is so meaningful to me that those kids see love as love, no matter who it is between.  That my brothers and my cousins have tears in their eyes as they watch two men marry, because they know how perfect they are together.  And that our whole family was there to love and support them today and every day.

The whole ceremony was one of the most beautiful things I've ever witnessed.

Once the vows were exchanged, the happy new husbands were able to kiss their groom, and they walked down the aisle together, it took us all a while to pull ourselves together, but once we did it was time for a cocktail hour.  The tears continued to come for many and we hugged and congratulated the new official husbands.

The cocktail hour was really pretty and the passed appetizers were delicious.  My favorite was a little piece of bruschetta that had pesto, sundried tomato and goat cheese on it so it looked like a little italian flag.  I am so going to steal that idea for a dinner party at some point in the future!

After the cocktail hour, we went inside for a delicious dinner that included a beautiful surprise for all of us at our tables.  Everyone had a small gift at their place setting, which for all the ladies, was an Alex and Ani bracelet with an anchor on it.  Steve and Colin love all things nautical and I am going to forever cherish my anchor bracelet.  Family grounds you.  Forever and always.

The dinner was delicious, I had the scallops, because when you are in New England, you choose the scallops.

Both fathers gave beautiful and very perfectly suited toasts and the dinners went by deliciously and wonderfuly, with all of the tables being a mix of both sides of the families and their friends.  It was great to spend more time talking to Colin's sister, her husband, and two of their friends from San Francisco.  Following dinner, we returned to the area where the ceremony had been held as it was time to begin the dance and drinks part of the par-tay.  Oh, and eat the cupcakes!

If you've been around the blog long enough you know that my family enjoys making music videos together, and we always have at least one dance party when we are at our family vacation every summer in New Hampshire.  So when you give us a designated dance floor and a DJ, it's totally on!

I am always one of the firsts out on the dance floor and I love how as the night goes on, more and more people start to creep out.  I had such a good time dancing with my family, new friends, and the newlyweds.  As with any wedding, the champagne and wine were flowing, and as the night went on, the dancing became crazier and the champagne turned into tequila shots.  Wait, what?  That doesn't happen at normal weddings?

The DJ played the songs that my family music videos are too.  We danced our hearts out.  We toasted the happy couple.  And it was all in all just a blissfully happy night.  The official wedding ended at 11:00 p.m. and the DJ shut things down, but after the party is the after party.... so we went back out in Provincetown.

It was such a fantastic wedding and one that made me so proud of my family and of my uncles.  There are certain things I tend to avoid talking about on the blog, but my views on marriage between two men or two women are never one that I will shy away from.  It is my hope and dream that someday I will be an old grandma, after having found a man whom I love as much as my uncles love each other, and be able to sit around and have a conversation with my grandchildren where they are saying to me, "Gram, is it true that when you were little two men weren't allowed to get married to each other???"

And I will explain that yes, as crazy as it seems, it was at one time true.  It is my dream that my grandchildren will be horrified and so find it a silly, unimaginable notion that people cared so much about something that affected them so little.

Because I am blessed enough to grow up in a family that taught me that love is love, no matter your sex or race or religion, I believe it is my responsibility to help spread that openness.  I believe it is my duty to not be accepting of a semi-equal world.  It makes me so sad inside to think that there are people who spend their day to day lives feeling like they need to hide who they are for fear of not being accepted by their families or friends or communities where they live and work.  Or worse, not just being unaccepted, but actually lawfully persecuted as homosexuality itself is illegal in many parts of the world!

Can you imagine it being illegal for a brown haired person to be attracted to and want to marry a blonde haired person?  Isn't that the most ridiculous thought in the world?  Why is anyone telling anyone who they should be attracted to?

My uncles are two of the most amazing, caring, silly, fun, and without a doubt most generous people I have ever met in my life and will probably ever know in my life.  They are so smart and so kind and mean so much to me.  I couldn't imagine my life without either of them in it and I could not be happier to have been able to be there for their wedding this past weekend.  Congratulations Steve and Colin!!  I love you guys!!


  1. Thank you for such a wonderful accounting of THE wedding of the season. Loved reading your commentary on this magical event. And I agree with everything you said about Colin and steve. Amazingly fantastic wonderful guys! Warmly, Sile ( Eoin's mother and huge fan of the grooms)

  2. A beautiful post about an even more beautiful day!