Sick of Half Ironman Training

So, writing about my trip to Dubai has been a good release for me this week because I have got to tell you something.  It has to do with my normal routine of posting about training for Chattanooga 70.3.

I’m sort of fed up with Half Ironman training. I feel done. I am tired and I want to not worry about whether or not I am biking enough, running enough, and figuring out a nutrition plan. I don’t want to keep reminding myself to visit the website that has wetsuit rentals and figure that out. I don’t feel like searching YouTube to learn how to inflate the stupid trainer tire that I bought. I definitely don’t want to spend even more money to buy the mat thing that is supposed to make my trainer vibrations not so bad for my dumb downstairs neighbor. I am sick of all this junk.

I just don’t want to do it anymore.

Right now I feel overwhelmed. I feel full of doubt and confusion all the time. I have no idea what I am doing training for this Half Ironman. I am working out a lot yet I am always feeling paranoid and anxious that I should be doing more. Or that I should be doing it at a higher intensity. Or that I should be doing different things. I feel like I'm not doing exercise that I would like to do because I am doing stuff I "have" to do yet I don't even know if I'm doing it right.

Right now I'm in New Orleans for the Rock N Roll NOLA half marathon. I signed up for this last year not really knowing what my training plan was going to be like and as I started to put the year together decided to use this as a goal race.  Miami was supposed to be a training run to help get me ready for this - a flat course in a fun city, ideal for PRs.  I was training hoping for 1:55 as a goal.

Well I ended up running Miami hard and I did get a PR by 4 seconds. Then my trip to Dubai came up, that was an amazing opportunity but meant missing my last two weeks of long run opportunities over the weekends. It also left me jet lagged this week. And now I've come down with a cold and feel like crap and can't breathe out my nose.

But, all those are excuses a little bit. I could have made it work.

I did my best time in the Publix Half Marathon in the rain the weekend after getting back from Nigeria and feeling like such crap that I went to Urgent Care. The truth is I think I just gave up on this race. As I mentioned above, I am frustrated with training. I'm worn down mentally, which is worse than being worn down physically sometimes.

I'm hoping to run tomorrow for fun. I've never done that before and it will be a different experience for me. My plan is to enjoy it, take pictures, and hopefully remember why I love doing all this stuff.

I have been through enough training cycles to know that this happens every now and then mentally and I will get through it. But man... I'm just out of the right frame of mind right now :(

Here goes nothing.