Feeling badass.

Hey everyone, happy Saturday morning!  Despite the fact that you haven't heard from me since Monday, things are going better than they were at the beginning of the week.  I had a fun, interesting week and have super exciting weekend plans as well!  Before I head off on my weekend adventure, I really wanted to take the time to write down some of the different thoughts and happenings of the week, and the dynamics that have been at play.  So I'll just data dump here...

- I've been working out 5x a week lately, this week for sure.  I like the feeling of being at the gym and exercising every day, but it makes me really tired.  On Tuesday after work I was at the gym for about 2 hours.  I did my regular Tough Mudder boot camp with my friends and also started a weight training program.  I'm looking forward to seeing myself improve there!  Wednesday and Thursday I had post-work plans both nights and on Friday I was just exhausted.  Hence me not writing until now, FYI.

- I had two really good runs this week on Wednesday and Thursday.  I found myself really anxious to get back outside running.  Jess and I did our marathon training runs on the treadmill last Friday, Saturday, and Monday and it was starting to get to my head.  Despite the Polar Vortex, we braved the cold on Wednesday morning and ran ~6 miles outside -- which is a whole mile further than we even had on the training plan, woops!

And then 3 miles on Friday morning, which had warmed up a bit, but we ran through snow and with a fresh blanket of snow on the roads.

What made the runs great wasn't the pace by any means -- although Jess did really help to keep me moving on Wednesday -- but just it felt great to challenge the weather and do something that others thought was "insane" and feel good about it.  This week I reread the blog a couple of my friends wrote when they were marathon training and I was excited reading their posts about the euphoric, insanely blissful happy feelings that come with pushing yourself to new distances, challenges, and going somewhere you hadn't been before.  So far, my run distances have all been something I've tackled before.  And I haven't been able to really challenge my pace because of the icy, snowy, cold weather.  I've missed that "badass" feeling that I get when I prove to myself I can do something.  The runs this week helped to bring that feeling back.

(But hey, helping to maintain weight loss doesn't hurt, right??)

- That brings me right into my next point... I've been battling a little bit with my desire to step on the scale.  I know that my weight isn't where I want it to be right now based on how my clothes are fitting.  Monday wasn't the only day of the week that my outfits were a bit uncomfortably snug.  However, I am feeling positive with where I am running and eating wise, so I am scared of how stepping on the scale will affect that.  Usually it puts me into a scary spiral of being upset with myself -- but it also jump starts me to be a bit healthier.  However, I have some travel that makes it really hard to stay on track and I am scared to have that self-hate going on at the same time that I am facing events (travel) that I know will be challenging.  Plus, the changes in my diet lately have been challenging enough, so trying to maintain that is something I really want to focus on and then try to figure out how to make it a bit healthier.  I'm not sure what to do and am just scared to let the weight gain get out of control.  I legit noticed dust bunnies on my scale this morning!

- Finally, for a blog that originally started about cooking and eating and food -- I have written very, very little about the major change in my diet that I made starting January 1, 2014.  That is partly because I am a bit embarrassed by it.  Starting on the first of the year, I started eating a gluten free diet.  This embarrasses me a little bit because I don't want to be seen as someone jumping on the "gluten free saves all" bandwagon that has happened a bit over the past couple of years.  I decided to try this as an experiment to see how it affects my body's ability to fight a medical condition.  I have done a lot of reading that says people have results with a gluten free diet, and a gluten intolerance runs in my family (my sister has celiac disease.)  Although I test negative for celiac, I decided to try the gluten free diet myself.  I have committed to one month of gluten free and I will see what results I am having and make a decision moving forward from there.

I am not doing this for weight loss.  In fact, I think I might be gaining a pound or two from this diet -- which is probably due to my own mental stupid decision making.  Because I mentally tell myself I am not eating as much carbohydrates as I usually do, I think it's okay to do dumb stuff like eat an entire box of cookies.  And why did I even buy those stupid cookies in the first place?  I don't buy Oreos normally. Yet, I felt that because they are gluten free Oreos I should?  Stupid.  I know that gluten free foods often have more fat and calories than their non-gluten versions because they've got to compensate!  So, yeah, I am really working to get that under control.

This week I had a number of outings and work meals that challenged the gluten free diet.  Luckily, many restaurants have options and I ate gluten free pasta, pizza, wine, and cider all the live long day.  Again, I need to work to get that under control.  Would I normally eat pizza two days in a row?  No way in the world!  But I felt because it was a "gluten free" version I was entitled to it.  I need to figure out how to manage this, but right now, I am still adjusting to the gluten free lifestyle so I am giving myself a slight pass.

Wednesday night's dinner: gluten free pasta.

The next 24 hours will be a challenge as I am headed to one of my favorite places in the world, that also happens to be the home to terrible decision making when it comes to food.  My alma mater, Syracuse!!!  Some day, I will tell you the story about one of the nights that goes down in bad eating hall of fame.  However, right now, I have to go finish getting dressed and jump in the car for the 2 hour drive to go meet up with one of the loves of my life to cheer on Cuse as they play UNC.  It will be interesting to be in the Carrier Dome without a beer and nachos in hand.  But we'll figure it out, right?

Happy weekend everyone, enjoy what's left of the polar vortex and let's go Orange!!!!!!!!!