Searching for the runner and bloggers high.

Yesterday when I was at work, I had so many thoughts going through my head that I wanted to write about.  I was at work (duh) so I obviously couldn't take the time to flush out entries and really put all my thoughts into words but I was so excited to write the posts that were flowing through my head.

I had evening plans with a friend so I wasn't able to write exactly when I got home from work because I had to eat quick and head out the door.  (And as a side note, I had 2 cups of Trader Joe's Low Sodium Roasted Red Pepper & Tomato Soup, with a little salt and italian seasoning and Parmesan cheese added, plus a side salad.)

However, we'd planned to not stay out late (#wearegettingold) in advance so I knew I could probably write when I got home.  Then I got caught up with phone calls and text messages and doing all sorts of random other things and I didn't have time to write.

So I decided that tonight was going to be a "reading and writing" date night with myself.  I knew I wanted to cook when I got home, and then I figured I'd have hours and hours to write not only the blog entries I wanted to write yesterday, but also updates and some other random things I've wanted to write about.  However, I worked a little later than I thought, and then I cooked for a while, which I enjoyed, and then I went to write and nothing came to my mind.  And so I first wrote out the recipe that I cooked tonight, and still however, nothing came to mind and I can't remember what those totally epic and awesome blog entries I wanted to share with you.  However, I swear, they were totally epic and awesome.  And deep.  Many, they were deep.  It was some philosophical stuff that I was thinking!  Ugh.  I hate when that happens.  I love the feeling of getting thoughts on paper (or computer?) and I am struggling to write things that seem at all meaningful lately.

Anyways, the past two days have been very good but holy heck they have VERY COLD!!!  I know it's lame and everyone is talking about how cold it is and we should all just shut up, blah blah blah.  But, ugh, it is SO cold.  I saw Runner's World post this to Facebook yesterday and it totally made me laugh.  Maybe because I have not only been having the thoughts lately of "Why did I sign up for a marathon?!?!" but also, "Why did I sign up for a SPRING marathon?!?!"

Being drunk might have made some sense, but I don't even have that as an excuse.  What was I thinking?!?

Things are starting to get into scary territory with marathon training.  I did 12 miles on Sunday.  And in my half marathon training plans, the 12 mile run was the cumulation of the training.  From there you tapered down a week and then did your race.  By the time the 12 week training run took place -- you were pretty much there.  Time to celebrate, so close to the goal.  You finished training.  But holy heck, man!  We aren't even CLOSE!  We aren't even half way through or into the tough stuff yet!  I did 12 miles on Sunday and then 3 miles on Tuesday and then 6 miles this morning!

Yesterday morning as I ran on the treadmill and did my "Tough Mudder" workout with my friends I felt so tired.  And it was so cold in the morning.  I suddenly had this thought that I later felt guilty about, I thought, "Ugh I wish I could just never work out again in my life."  I didn't get the workout "high" that day and I just felt terrible after exercising.

To be honest, too, it scared me a little bit that those thoughts could creep up into my head.  Lately I've been feeling pretty good that exercise is now just a part of my life.  I don't make it an "option" it is just something I do.  It is very common to hear me talking about how I "have to" run rather than "Oh, I want to run in the morning."  It's because I have found that if I make it something that is just a part of my routine, like brushing my teeth, than it is much easier to cut out of my life.  Especially while traveling.  I like having a training plan with numbers on each day because it does give me something that I "have to" do that day.  I thought that I had reached a point where I was good with the exercise and just needed to continue to work the battle to eat right.  It really scared me that I still had the ability to have the thought, "I just never want to do this again." go through my head.  Even now, when I write this, I am trying to rush myself to finish the entry so I can go to bed because I need to get up in the AM and work out.  It does sound tempting to just think, "I'm no longer going to do "working out" thing and just stay up late playing on the internet and sleep in a little later."  So I won't lie, yesterday did through me off a little bit with how crummy I felt and the "workout high" than never came.

I haven't given up yet though.  This morning I met my friends at the gym and I had a 6 mile run on the training agenda.  SIX miles after just doing 12 on Sunday.  I don't think I've fun that much so close to each other before.  As I mentioned, in the past after the 12 mile was a taper, and I usually took a break after the races from running.

However, I pushed myself this morning and "raced the treadmill" as I told my friends, playing my own little mind game shifting around the speeds between 6.0 and 6.8 and the height between 0.0 and 1.5.  Just those small shifts in pace and speed helped break up the 1 hour boring treadmill run.  As well as having my friends there to talk to and cheer me on!  One of my friends snapped my picture without me noticing and told me that she took a picture for the blog.  I posed for the next one and decided to still share them both here.  Normally I would only have posted the second one, because ugh, my arm in that first shot is scary.

Surprise!

And then, oh hey!  I spotted you!

I felt good after the run and was proud of myself for pushing through it.  I didn't feel good when I started but by the end I had that "runner's high" back and it was great.  Plus, do you see my new sneakers flashing by in the treadmill pics?  First day breaking them in!

So yah, I am feeling really good about the exercise and eating I've been doing this week.  However, it's hard to keep that high for too long nowadays because it is so stinking cold!  My god, it is so cold!!!  I wanted to run some errands over lunch today and it literally took me 20 minutes to psych myself up to go run outside to my car.  And then when I got into it, I looked like this.

That picture of me in my car just cracked me up a little bit and I wanted to share it.  Plus, I kinda think my makeup looks good there and I am vain.  There I said it.  #Realness.

Do I need to tell you when I am being real?  Is that necessary?  I guess it sort of comes out because I go to write something that I realize is not actually true and then I correct myself.  Like, I went to write a little reason why I was randomly including a picture of me with a funny face, bundled up in my car.  I wanted to say, "Oh I was reversing the camera to check if I had anything in my teeth or if my hair was okay and accidentally snapped this."  But um, that is totally false.  I took a selfie and didn't really look at it and stored it on my phone.  Then a few minutes ago when I was e-mailing myself pictures to include in this post, I thought, "Hey, I kinda like my skin in this picture, I'd like to include it."

Sooo... that's me.  But, you did get the fat arm picture too, so do I even out for vanity for the day? One bad pic for one good pic?  Do they cancel out?  I hope so!

Happy Hump Day everyone, I hope that you enjoy the stuffed pepper recipe I posted a little while ago!  My streak is now on 4 days of tracking and eating right according to Weight Watchers points.  Hoping to keep it going!

P.S. and Side Note:  I just wanted to mention somewhere in here that I have no planked for 2 minutes and 30 seconds nonstop two different times.  Craziness!