A day for "me"

Happy Friday everyone! Today was the first day of my trip here in Barcelona that I haven't been surrounded by coworkers and although I am going to miss them all and had a blast this week, my brain is I think benefitting from the lack of non-stop stimulation and conversation.  Since I live alone now, I have gotten used to having time in the evenings by myself.  I usually eat dinner alone, or watch a TV show, or just have some time to relax.  I had forgotten how exhausting work travel can be sometimes because you are with people non-stop.  And, don't get me wrong, I LOVE it.  I LOVE spending time with my coworkers, going to the group dinners, learning about people outside of the office, etc.  It is why I don't ever miss out on those dinners to just hang back on my own.  I always push myself and rally the energy after a long day to go out with coworkers and am happy that I do.  BUT, it is nice when it's over and you get a little time to yourself :)

I started this day by sleeping a little later than I usually have been in the mornings and then heading out for a 5-mile run.  It was a bit of a boring run as I just sort of circled around my hotel a bit and didn't go too far.  I didn't want to get too sick of the route that I am planning to do tomorrow and just wanted to explore a bit.  However, I did try out a couple different items that might possibly be a race day outfit for me.  I love the brightness of the pants and the top I think is really flattering but also lightweight.  I know they don't really match but I love that they are bright and they make me feel good and strong.  What do you think of it??

When I got back from the run, I made my way up to the continental breakfast that the hotel I am staying at has.  I had a delicious breakfast and coffee, and snagged a few apples to have as snacks.

As lovely as the meal was, I was definitely missing my regular Starbucks Friday girls and was thinking of them while I sipped my coffee!  I texted Jess & Aubrey to let them know I was thinking of them, and although I missed their FaceTime call when they were at coffee a little later, the voice message that the two of them sent me absolutely made my day!

Thinking of Starbucks Fridays!

I spent today catching up on work e-mail, planning some logistics for next week, and then later in the day did a little shopping and relaxing.  There is a massive mall that is right near our hotel that I checked out for a bit, made a few purchases, and did some great people watching, and also spent a little bit of time in the hotel hot tub/indoor pool thing.  It is on the 26th floor and has a great view of Barcelona.  Relax here for a bit?  Don't mind if I do!

While I was lounging I read through some of the latest issue of Runner's World that I have started and stopped a few times.  I read the article about Juli Windsor and John Young's experience last year running the Boston Marathon but not being able to finish -- and overcoming so much just to be runners in the first place.  I also read the article about running in Haiti.  And Dimity McDowell's article about being a badass mother runner and accomplishing training and completing an Ironman.  And I cried in every article.  In Dimity's article she writes about how she became so emotional during her training and cried all the time and I am pretty much at that point.  For her, completing an Ironman was "going big" with a goal and that's what I feel like I've done with the marathon.  The article says,

"Oh, the Ironman tears.  When you're going big, dramatic emotions are as inevitable as piles of laundry.  O'Donnell admits to welling up while watching an Adam Sandler movie -- "a comedy!" he exclaims-- after a race.  "You're so emotional during your first shot at going big because you truly don't know if you can do it," says DeBoom." - Runner's World article by Dimity McDowell

[O'Donnell and DeBoom refer to other Ironman athletes.]  Dimity, the author, goes on to write about how she cries when she is happy she accomplished a major training.  She cries during training because she doesn't know if she can finish.

"I cried every time I heard Florence + The Machine sing, "It's always darkest before the dawn," because I felt like the Ironman training put me in the dark -- and dawn was going to break in Coeur d'Alene [her Ironman.]  I cried when, during the bike portion of a half-Ironman race I did as training, I saw my aerodynamic shadow on pavement below and thought to myself, I'm doing this. I am really doing this." - Runner's World article by Dimity McDowell

I have been, and so AM, at that point.  I was tearing up nonstop while reading these articles!  The other totally crazy thing that's been going on lately is that I have started to get it in my mind at random times, "I could so do this again.  I am going to do another marathon." which surprises me to have those thoughts.  And, as I read this article, I thought to myself, "I wonder if I could/will ever do an Ironman?" and there was a little flow chart in the article questioning "How big do you want to go?" and I followed the path from... "Do you want a pure running race?" No.  "Do you know how to swim and ride a bike?" Yes.  Have you completed a few shorter traithlons, plus a half-marathon or marathon?" Yes. "HALF-IRONMAN TRIATHLON."  Uh oh...

The other options for "going big" included "Half-marathon" Check. Then "Sprint Triathlon." Check.  Then "Marathon." Signed up and almost done training: soon to be check. "Tough Mudder" Almost check (signed up!) "Multi-day relay race" Coming up -- planning to do one this fall! "Olympic Distance Triathlon" Not yet, but want to this summer!

The other options on the list are a multi-day race, half-Ironman triathlon, Ultramarathon, and Ironman.  Wheels are starting to turn, people!!!!

For dinner tonight I went out to a pizza place near my hotel around 7:45 but it wasn't open until 8:30 p.m.!  So I walked around a bit and got some candy to try from a bulk candy store I found... I was curious!   But in fact, none of it was that good and I still have most of the bag left, which is usually unheard of when it comes to me and candy.  I went back to the restaurant immediately at 8:30 and was waiting as they opened the doors :)  I had a gigantic pizza that I ate a lot of (but not all) and 2 bottles of water.  It was the first night in a while that I didn't have any wine or dessert (although the candy before dinner was sort of like a pre-dessert...) I also finished reading Runner's World while I ate.  Cheese was my power food for the 18-miler, so I figure why not, right??

Also, for the record, that is olive oil not wine in the back!  I have my 20-mile run in the morning and I knew I was going to need a lot of water afterwards so I stopped and grabbed a couple big bottles of water and also some nail polish.  I spent my Friday night in Barcelona in my hotel room painting my toenails like little French flags and drinking tea and water.  Pretty exciting, huh?

I took a couple of pictures of my toes to show... I thought the French flags would give me some Paris inspiration for the run tomorrow!  I originally took a picture trying to hide my big toe on my right foot because the toenail fell off a few weeks ago (did I ever tell you that??) and it is pretty gross looking still.

I thought my toes looked weird so I then took a picture in Snapchat to be able to draw over the bad toe and take a screenshot.

I then figured, why not "be real" and show you guys my feet as they are, and this whole series...  Hopefully it doesn't gross you out, but here are my toes in all their glory.

There you have it!  Now, time to get some rest.  Wish me luck on my run tomorrow -- THE PEAK OF MY TRAINING AND THEN OMG, I AM TAPERING FOR THE PARIS MARATHON!!! Ahhhh!! I am literally feeling every emotion possible this week I think, haha.

Tapas and more in Barcelona!

Hello internet friends -- I am so sorry that it has taken me so long to write again!  I NEED to be more consistent these next few weeks because I don't want to miss out on anything that is happening and I really want to document these experiences.

I've been in Barcelona for about 5 days now and it's been such a wonderful time.  It's also been a crazy busy and hectic time with not a lot of time sitting around at my computer.  And when I do have time sitting at my computer, I am so exhausted that I can hardly put a sentence together, nonetheless write out a blog entry.  However, I have been thinking of you!  I came to this page to start a blog entry at least 3 or 4 times.  I have been regularly e-mailing myself the pictures that I want to include in posts and twice I started writing a blog entry in the "Notes" application of my iPhone.  But then something happens, or another day goes by, and the mental blog entry I had written no longer applies, and I feel behind, and it gets more overwhelming to write a post... yada, yada, yada, I haven't written since Sunday.

Just so you don't feel bad, I will share a picture from the moment during the week that I was so tired I had to hide in the storage closet of our trade show booth for 15 minutes.  I really needed to get off my feet and just not talk to anyone for a little, which is how I ended up on the floor of the luggage room...

So.  Since Sunday, I have run 15 miles.  I did a 5 mile run on Monday morning where my legs felt heavy and I couldn't wait for it to be over.  On Wednesday I did a 10-mile run that felt GREAT.  I ran the first 5 miles at about a 10:30/pace and was feeling good so I pushed the pace to 9:30 for the second half and finished at exactly 1:40:17 with a 10 minute/mile pace.

The run on Wednesday gave me goosebumps for a number of reasons.  One of which is that I ran to the beautiful and historic Gaudi architecture wonder, the La Sagrada Familia cathedral.  I had attempted to find this during my 14 mile run on Sunday but never was able to make it.  On Wednesday, I knew I wanted to try and find it again and that the distance would be about right.  I checked a map before I left to know what streets to run down and arrived in front of the church when my GPS watch read 4.75 miles in.  I ran around the church and back to my hotel for a really incredible 10-mile run in the morning!

I got goosebumps as I was running and afterwards thinking about the fact that the 10-mile run was the peak of my midweek runs.  Next week's midweek run drops down to 8 miles and after the 20-mile run I have on Saturday I am officially tapering before the marathon.  Can you say crazy!?!

I don't think I realized that the taper was 3 weeks, which feels like a really long time to taper, but I am going to trust the plan and continue to do exactly what it tells me to in my training.  Hal Higdon served me well for the half marathons and the plan has been achievable so far without any injuries or mistakes, so I should just keep with it.  There is a reason why "trust the taper" is a thing marathon runners say, right??

As for eating in Barcelona... well... let's just say that I did a better job at the beginning of the week than the end of the week in terms of overeating.  However, I will also say that I don't really regret any of my eating choices.  I have tried SO many new foods, so many local foods, and really opened myself up to the Barcelona eating experience.  The meals have included lots of tapas -- or small plates of food -- which I've found, makes it difficult to track exactly how much you are eating.  A few mussels here.  A few piece of ham there.  A slice (or two) of tomato bread.  Some patatas bravas.  A glass of wine ("Was that a half pour or a full pour? I think half pour. Maybe I should have a little more...")?  A shared dessert?  It's hard to manage.

And although I am nervous about how putting on a pound or two will affect my running, I am honestly not stressed about what it will do to my waistline.  The thing that I forgot about when I was doing all that stressing and having all that anxiety about before I traveled is that when I am in Europe, I am in such a "happy place" mentally that I don't have so much anxiety about what I am eating and what size I am.

I have not maintained my rule of only one glass of wine every day.  BUT I have been avoiding happy hour and doing a good job of making smart, mindful decisions about eating.  Yes, sometimes I have been so hungry when it comes mealtime that I impulsively a lot when the food arrives.  And yes, at the conference, I've out of tiredness, stress, and exhaustion, craved and let myself indulge in some ridiculously delicious Belgian chocolates I discovered at the booth across the from our.  However, I have had small victories in knowing when to stop with the wine, getting the rest I need, going out to big group dinners, avoiding some foods, and preparing myself for the runs I have had this week.

One example that sticks out in my mind that is a small victory but feels important is that after lunch each day of the conference there has been a "dessert" table that has has a small gelato section.  And yes, I had dessert every day, but I didn't get gelato any of the days.  Now, I LOVE gelato and on the very first day I went and got a small cup, but when I tried it -- it wasn't very good.  Mind you, not very good gelato, is still gelato.  But I didn't think it was worth it.  I threw it away and didn't get it any other day, even when I was tempted as I walked by.  I reminded myself that I shouldn't eat the gelato because it's there but I should eat gelato when I really want gelato -- and eat REALLY GOOD gelato.  This gelato just wasn't worth it.  And call me crazy to think of this as a victory, but knowing when food is worth it is something I sometimes have a hard time with.  And trust me, the food that I have been eating this week has been worth it!  AND, I am really proud of myself for exploring with new foods as well.

Here is a random collection of photos...

And yes, that dessert you see above is on fire.  It was an apple cinnamon fritter tossed in a flaming anise liquor -- so yummy!!

Oh, as for a couple other things... those apples and bananas that I bought on Saturday for the week?  Well, I forgot that I am not in the United States and the food here doesn't have as much preservatives as our lovely produce in the U.S. and by the end of the week my apples were very mushy and some of them cracked.  Has anyone ever seen this happen before?? So strange!!

And I also want to call out one restaurant in particular if anyone is ever in Barcelona.  We ate at a place called Cal Pep that was really delicious.  I never saw a menu the whole time we were there, the staff just brings out different tapas for you.  One of the things we got was that picture that you saw of a little cracker toast with a roasted red pepper and piece of a fish thing on it.

It freaked me out to be able to see the little fin tail thing and the shiny look of the scaley fish.  I, however, didn't want to be the only one at the table to not eat it, and I am trying harder to try new things.  To be completely honest, it took me a little while to work up the guys to take a bite.  Fish is still new to me and the appearance here really threw me.

But I did!  And the experience was documented...

But all turned out well, and I even ended the meal making friends with the waiter who friendly teased me throughout the entire meal.

Every time he would send a plate my way, he would pretend to drop it.  Or when he would hand me silverware or something like that, he'd pull his hand back at the last minute.  The whole experience at Cal Pep was great -- from the food to the wait staff, so I would definitely suggest it!

With that, I will sign off for the night and do my best to keep you more up to date with my happenings.  You guys keep me so happy and inspired to write more... specifically a great e-mail I got this week from someone telling me that reading my blog inspired them to work harder at the gym this week.  I LOVE that and LOVE when you guys let me know that stuff.  Hearing that from you, in turn inspires me to keep taking my own advise and also write here more :)

The day I ran into a parade

One of the things I have learned during the time I have been a "runner" (you know how I feel about that word...) is how to listen to my body.  I have definitely become more in tune with the needs & health of my body and muscles.  I have also learned when NOT to listen to my body.  I was a mediocre athlete my entire life because I never pushed myself hard enough -- when things start to hurt or get hard, I backed off.  Through running and working up from running for 60 seconds to +60 minutes, I've learned that you often need to push past the initial discomfort.  And still, every Monday, Wednesday and Friday when my alarm goes off in the mornings that I am planning to run, my first thoughts are still, "Ughhh... I want to sleep more!  I don't want to get up!"  I now know you often need to push past the pain and ignore the voices in your head in order to get better.

Yet, there is a limit to that.  You need to know which pains to stop for and which pains to push through.  I've become much better at listening to my body and knowing what it needs.  This morning I planned to get my run done earlier in the morning before having to do some work, however, when my alarm went off this morning I could tell right away that my body needed more sleep.  With two overnight flights in 36 hours, adjusting to different time zones, and busy days, my body needed more rest than I had allotted for it.  So, I decided to sleep for 2.5 more hours rather then spend them running and when I woke up later, my body thanked me for it.

I got my 14-mile run in later in the day and the change in plan actually made for an enjoyable run.  I explored Barcelona by foot, just winding down streets that looked nice to me.  I carried a water bottle with me that I occasionally filled up at the water spickets along the road (have I mentioned how much I love Europe??)  It was also an exciting run for me because I was able to run outdoors in a tank top for the first time in months!  I actually got a bit sunburnt on my chest, believe it or not.  The run had a lot of starts and stops, waiting for lights to change color and dodging people and also stopping to take some pictures.  Scenes from today's run included the Arc de Triomphe in Barcelona!

However, the highlight of my run most certainly occurred at about mile 9 when I ran into a parade!  And when I say ran into, I literally mean I ran IN TO a parade.  All of a sudden I turned a corner and there were swarms of people, the road was blocked off, and there was a parade going on in front of me!  I stopped for 15 minutes or so to check out the parade because the colors and outfits and music and dancing were just so exciting!  

I was a little nervous to stop mid-run because it's usually not good for me to stop and start midrun, but it isn't too often that I am in Barcelona and happen to catch a parade so I did not want to miss out on the experience!

I finished off the last 5 miles and completed the 14 mile run in a little under 2 hours and 30 minutes, with my half marathon time being 2:19:58.  It was a great run and way to explore the city.  I am excited to do more runs over the next few weeks as I really was able to imagine myself running in Paris today.

Relaxing post-run wasn't too bad either as I checked out the hotel's rooftop lounge/bar.  It had an insanely beautiful view of the city and great, relaxing place to hang out with coworkers.

Walking around later on, I also resisted the urge to get a pre-dinner ice cream and eat lots of junk after my run.  I am lucky that one of my coworkers is also a blog reader and after I mentioned I wanted ice cream she reminded me of how guilty I would feel later and it really helped to remind me what is most important to me.  And that, right now, is being in shape for the marathon!  

With that in mind, for the 2nd day in a row I followed the business travel rule I've put in place until the marathon -- which is only one glass of wine a day, and with a meal.  I realized that when I have even one glass of wine, it makes it so much easier to be lenient with the decisions I made around food and eating, so I want to just limit the wine and do the best I can.  For dinner, I had a number of appetizers and then at the scallops and vegetables for dinner, all of which I felt good about.

It was another great meal and exhausting day, so I am heading to bed.  Happy start to your weeks!

P.S.  I saw this advertisement in the Metro and totally loved it.  The runners out there know this is far too true for many of us the night before a race.

Nearly 6,000 miles later...

Hey guys, it has been a LONG few days since I last wrote and I'm catching you up on it all from nearly 6,000 miles and 9 time zones away from where I wrote last!  But, let's start at the beginning, shall we?

On Wednesday morning I got up early for a 9-mile run in Tehachapi, California, where I was last week for work.  I ran with my coworker again, who really helped to push my pace to something that was a little more uncomfortable for me.  We did 9-miles averaging around a 9:40 pace, which is really fast for me at that distance!  I finished my run needing to take in huge deep breaths, which is unlike how I have finished a run in a while, so it felt good.  It was also an incredibly beautiful morning for a run with a gorgeous sunrise, bright sky, and not much wind whatsoever.

Also, am I the only one that totally hoards food from the hotel breakfast bar like it's going out of style?  I carried the following armload of food back to my hotel room, feeling like a complete crazy.  I was straight out of a Rachel Ray TV cooking show walking with all of this in my arms!

The lack of wind made for a nice run but a slow day on the wind farm.  I don't like to talk much about work, but I work in the wind industry and therefore have a love-hate relationship with the wind.  I love wind energy and the fact that it essentially pays my salary but hate the wind when I am running!  However, it was beautiful to see turbines along my morning run... I personally think they are beautiful and majestic.  And when you spend so much time talking, writing, and reading about wind turbines, it is pretty exciting when you actually get to see them in person!

My legs actually got quite a workout on Wednesday because in addition to the 9-mile run at a fast pace, I actually got to get up close and personal with one of our newest turbines and climb to the top of the 97-meter tower.  It was exhausting and I was a bit nervous about doing it, even though I have climbed turbines in the past.  My legs were totally shot after the turbine climb and 3 days later, my legs are still feeling the use of those different muscles!

But once you get to the top of the turbine, it's such an incredible view, it makes it all worthwhile!

I had a great business trip out to California and Wednesday evening I caught a red eye back to Albany, arriving midday on Thursday.  I actually got a decent amount of sleep, went into the office on Thursday, and worked the day before going home and passing out.  On Friday morning, I got myself up at 5:00 a.m. to go meet my friends for our regular Friday morning run!  We did 5-miles, per marathon training, and then went to get coffee because come on, it's ritual :)

This Friday was a little bit sentimental for me in both the run and the coffee however because it was the last run I would do with Aubrey before the marathon and my last run with Jess before meeting up in Paris.  These girls have been so helpful and inspirational throughout this marathon training process and I am going to miss them over the next few weeks.

Thinking to myself, "next time I see Aubrey, I will be a marathoner!" and coming up to the climax in my training (this week is the longest mileage week!) I've started to feel nostalgic about the training process and almost even a little sad that this is coming to a close so soon!  It's made me start to think about my "next" marathon -- which is something that has NOT been in my mind until just now.  In fact, whenever people would say I was training for my "first" marathon or ask if I had done a marathon before, I have had a hard time saying that I am "running my first marathon" because saying it is the first sort of implies that there will be a second or a third or some sort of future marathon... which I hadn't been convinced yet that there would be!  Now I am starting to think that it is definitely something that's on my mind.

How will I ever top a marathon in Paris though?  I really make things hard for myself, huh? :)

Anyways, I said bye to the girls after coffee and then went home to unpack, do laundry, and repack to catch a 3:00 p.m. flight.  This time from Albany to Newark to Barcelona, Spain -- which is where I write to you from today!  Oh, and since I won't be back in the U.S. until post-St. Patrick's Day, I had to get my little ritual of a once-a-year McDonald's milk shake in the form of a Shamrock Shake!

I arrived in Barcelona on Saturday morning (this morning), which is nearly 6,000 miles from California and 9 hours apart via time zones.  Yikes!  I barely know what hour it is, but am just trying to sleep when it is dark and be awake when it is light.  That works, right?

As I've discussed, I'm going to try my best to eat right while I am here, and get in exercise and running.  I brought a lot of bars, picked up some apples and bananas from the grocery store, and am drinking as much water as I can possibly find and fit in.  Today I am pretty proud of how I did -- it wasn't perfect but I did avoid a lot of temptation.  Although I did have a snack of popcorn that I bought for 2 euros off the street.

I walked all throughout Barcelona's Las Ramblas, gothic section, and along the beach.  It was a beautiful, sunny day with all around not much to complain about.  Had it been a tiny bit warmer, than i would have called it a totally perfect day, but I guess you can't have everything!  But let me tell you, one thing I did have today, was a short massage on the beach.  I was sitting with a coworker on the stoop by the beach just people watching and a female vendor came up offering neck and shoulder massages for only 5 euro.

Still being sore from the tower climb, all the running, and being cramped up on airplanes, it only took a few minutes of hemming and hawing to decide that it was worth it!  I thought she was going to just run my shoulders while I sat there, but instead she lay a blanket down and had me lay face down on the beach.  I was a little surprised but it was actually so relaxing to lay in the beach in the sun and get a massage!!! It was a good amount of time and a refreshingly good massage for just 5 euro.  Best money I've ever spent!!

My coworkers and I ate dinner at the hotel restaurant and I had the seafood paella -- something that would be a sin to miss out on in Barcelona!  I am not a HUGE seafood person so I did avoid a lot of the seafood on the plate... there was lots of crazy stuff all thrown in there, but it had a great taste and filled me up enough to be full but not overwhelming.  And I went with some berries for dessert!

I've got a 14-mile run in the morning that I am actually really looking forward to!  As I was walking around today I kept thinking to myself, "I cannot wait to run around Barcelona!"

Another thought I kept having today as I was walking around had to do with the last time I was in Barcelona.  And yes, I am lucky enough to be able to call this my second trip to Barcelona in my short life.  A few years ago I went on a Spain and Italy adventure with two of the loves of my life, E and Teenie -- part of that group of girls who are my lifelines.  We had such a fun time exploring Madrid, Barcelona, Florence and Rome together and as I walked around Barcelona today I thought a lot about those memories.

Barcelona Bike Tour Fall 2010

I am fortunate enough to travel a lot and have been many wonderful places, but the memories of that trip kept flooding my mind today and I just kept feeling overwhelmingly grateful that the three of us went on that adventure together.  It is something that we will ALWAYS remember and there are so just so many great moments that keep coming to my mind from that vacation -- from the bike tour we did in the rain (see above photo!) to our night of drinking "authentic" mojitos and wine on the beach to our gross hostel, Erin's money belt, struggling to keep souvenir vases from breaking, and causing a scene at the cannon in Montjuc-- the memories are absolutely priceless.  I love those girls to pieces and being here for whatever reason is just making me feel so thankful to have them in my life!

Hope you are all having a great weekend where ever you are around the world!

What to do? A rambling post...

So, I'm out here in California traveling and I'm struggling a bit.  I totally need to work on some things and am letting my anxiety get the best of me.  I think I expected failure in myself, so that is what I is happening.  Saturday's run was a high for me.  It was also March 1st, which means that my goal of tracking what I ate every single day for a month was over.  And since I have let myself go from tracking, I have been overeating a lot.

I had told myself that I didn't need to track through March.  I knew that I would be traveling for the majority of the month and that eating out and tracking Weight Watchers points would be really, really hard if not impossible.  I have NEVER been able to maintain my diet and be on the road successfully.  I had this anxiety leading up to these weeks of travel and I might be just projecting, but it's definitely all coming true.  I am eating more than I do when I track, making excuses for it at the time, and then feeling guilty about it later on.

The other change is that I am getting really, really frustrated with is the lack of seeing ANY results from eating gluten free.  I have been working so hard at it and not seeing the results I want, in terms of improving the medical problems I've been having that caused me to make this change in the first place.  I think that eating gluten free has definitely helped me to stay on track with eating healthy, but I really wanted it to have impact elsewhere -- which it is not at this moment.  So, I have started to slack a bit.

Last week I had a few bites of a cookie.  This weekend I ate fried wings.  Today I had a few bites of bread and ate a BBQ chicken pizza as my meal at a restaurant.  So, not good all around.

I am probably being too hard on myself because today I had a pretty good day all around until dinner.  I went for a 5-mile run with my coworker I am traveling with this morning, who happens to be a much faster runner than me and pushed my pace to around 9:30/miles this morning.  And for breakfast I had egg whites, a banana, and peanut butter, along with some tea, hot chocolate and water.  I had salad for lunch and a 2-point bag of Lay's potato chips.  For a snack I had a banana and an apple but then went a little lazy when it got to dinner.

I was starving and indulged in appetizers that were delicious such as a bacon covered dates with blue cheese, steak over spinach, cheese stuffed peppers, and meatballs.  I then had the majority of a BBQ chicken pizza and a couple of glasses of wine with dinner.  Wine increases the amount I eat like crazy, and I just actually saw on Shark Tank the statistic that a diner who drinks a glass of wine before their entree arrives is 77% more likely to order a second glass of wine at dinner.  I have to say, that isn't hard to believe! I know I drink (and eat) more when I start drinking before I eat dinner.  It might be time to put in some "rules" for this month around eating and drinking.

It's weird, I have this complex when I travel for work that I feel like being a young, female in my predominantly male industry, I need to "fit in" with the guys I work with by eating and drinking like "one of the guys."  I don't ever want to be seen as the "girl" of the group, so I try to differentiate myself and "fit in" by drinking beer and eating pizza to be seen on the same level.  To some extent, I do think that it works because I have great relationships and the guys I work with trust me and reach out to me and include me in things.  But then, after the dinners, I always leave having anxiety because I felt like I ate too much.  And in all reality, my relationships with my coworkers could not change whatsoever if I ate salads and drank water when out to eat on work trips.  My philosophy could very likely be an elaborate justification I created in my mind to be able to eat pizza and drink beer and feel like I was doing it "for my career."

Over these past couple of years, as I have started traveling more for work, I have tried to find the right balance of enjoying my travel but also eating in a way that makes me feel happy with myself.  However, I have never had to find the right balance while also TRAINING FOR A MARATHON.  So, fast forward 4 weeks, I could end up more than just unhappy with my weight, but really at a disadvantage for this thing I've been working for the past 4 months!

My new goal for the month of March is to really stay on track maintaining my weight.  Not necessarily losing, but maintaining where I am now.  And one way I've decided to try that is by doing a different "tracking" program besides Weight Watchers.  I know that tons of people, many friends of mine included, have really enjoyed the app My Fitness Pal, so today I downloaded that and will check it out tomorrow!

For now, I am going to head to bed because I am wiped and have a 9-miler in the morning.  Happy Tuesday and hope you are having a good week.