Putting anxiety aside and living in the moment

I realized that I made a mistake yesterday when I was running/writing when I said that I had realized that I didn’t have any more long runs in Albany. I messed up my weekends/schedule and I actually have one more long run to do while I am here – my 18-miler that I will do the weekend of March 1st! Then after that, I’ll be on the road for the 5 weeks leading up to the marathon.  Yes, you read that right, travel for 5 weeks!  Normally I don't write that stuff in advance because, you know, safety and stuff.  But since my apartment will still be occupied the entire time I am gone, I feel okay writing that in advance.

However, robbers aside, I am a little worried about traveling for that long.  I am starting to get worried because I’ve been doing so well eating healthy and losing weight lately, and I've learned over the past few years that I have the tendency to lose focus when I am shaken out of a routine. And lately I’ve gotten myself into a really solid routine that is predictable, plan-able, and manageable. I eat variations of the same thing every day, know what obstacles I have in the week to plan around, my friends motivate me to get out of bed and exercise, I have enough time to do multiple workouts in a day if I want, I have access to fresh fruits and vegetables, and cook 90% of my meals, if not more, at home.

Pretty soon I am going to be eating all of my meals and doing all of my workouts out of my comfort zone. This scares me for a number of reasons but I am going to do my best to stick with it. I'd love it if anyone has any suggestions on how to stick with eating healthy while on the road!  I've been able to do it for short periods of time, but not this long term.  I am thinking the marathon will be extra motivation, but I am still worrying.

Ugh, let's put anxiety about the future aside and live in the present, shall we?  One day at a time!

And speaking of the present tense, today I was chatting with a friend and realized that I yet again hid some of my shameful behavior from you, my lovely blog readers.   I really don’t think I do it on purpose, but sometimes my hindsight is viewed with rosy colored glasses.

I’ve actually known this for a long time… but when I think back on memories, I often just remember the positive things. I honestly don’t think it’s a terrible habit to have, but when I go to write my blog entries, even at just the end of the day, I sometimes forget about those not as positive things to write about. However when one of good friends today told me that she had been reading my blog and thought I was the “picture of good health.”  Although incredibly sweet, I thought, “HA! Does a picture of good health eat TWO chocolate chip gluten free cookies right out of the bakery case at the grocery store? AFTER sampling pretty much every kind of almond and chocolate chip that is in the bulk food section of the store… with no intention of even buying any of them…?” Because, yeah, I didn’t mention that when I told you about all the veggie and healthy goodness I picked up at the store yesterday.

For whatever reason I just wanted to eat everything in sight when I was at the Albany Co-Op. I mean, that happens every time I go there, which is why I don’t allow myself to go there all that often… But yeah, I did eat a little too much when I was perusing the store. Serves me right for going to the grocery store hungry. I did track what I ate – even though I really, really didn't want to. I had to estimate for all of the point values since I didn't actually measure anything and there was no nutritional value for the cookies listed.  Hopefully it was about right!

I have done a few things I am proud of and happy to share in addition to that little story though... I tried on a pair of jeans that have not fit comfortably for quite some time and they felt great!  They aren't my goal pants (still working on those) but I was still happy to have them button with ease for the first time in a while.   And, I marked my commitment to stepping AWAY from the scale with a symbolic move of removing my scale from the bathroom and putting it away under my bed.  It's always easier to remove the temptation that face it every time you walk in!

And tonight for dinner, I made myself a delicious, delicious and totally satisfying salad made up of some of those healthy things I picked up from the grocery store.  With blueberries, dark chocolate, and tea for dessert.  So yummy and enjoyable :)

Happy Tuesday everyone!